The Journey of Anger Management
As we journey through our experience within anger management therapy, we must realize that we are indeed making progress every step of the way. Anger management therapy is progressive learning process in which we realize, accept and take radical responsibility for our old maladaptive ways in handling powerful emotions such as anger. As we begin to take an honest look at ourselves with the help of a group, or one on one anger management counseling, we are than empowered to choose to incorporate adaptive ways to manage our anger. The adaptive methods include:
• Deep breathing technique
• Taking time outs; retreating and thinking things over
• Recognizing stressors and triggers
• Communicating assertively
• Adjusting our expectations
• Developing empathy for others
• Changing our inner thoughts from negative to positive ones with the use of affirmations or mantras
• Working on forgiving those who have hurts us as well as learning to forgive oneself
• Becoming more responsive; staying curious vs. reactive to the actions and words of others,
• Developing a list of possible alternatives to handling the conflict instead of resorting to your standard maladaptive trait.
• Practicing a daily mediation, or exercise
• Developing healthy hobbies that enrich you as a human being
• Joining a support group or individual counseling/therapy
• Remembering what your final outcome or goal is for the resolution of the particular conflict
We may not be successful right away, when dealing with an anger episode, to incorporate any one of these techniques but if we can slowly start to use any one of these above even after a less than perfect anger episode you will begin the learning process and the more you use them the quicker you will become at replacing your maladaptive schema with the healthy tools listed above. Have patience for yourself. All good things take time. Just remember that you are worthy and deserving to find the courage to live a peaceful, happy and fulfilled life. This is your awakening, your process that in time you will master.
By: Diana Bonilla, M.A.
Diana Bonilla is a anger management instructor for Daybreak Counseling Service in the city of Van nuys, California. For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-NO ANGER / 855-662-6437. You can also contact us at twitter.com/angryinla
