The Dangers of Internalizing Anger

There are a many of misunderstandings about anger management and the type of person that can benefit from an anger management class. One of the misunderstandings I have observed is that until a person’s anger has got them into some sort of legal trouble, they are having serious problems on the job, or significant damage is occurring in their personal relationships, they don’t believe they need to address their anger management issues. Unfortunately, many people feel intense anger and rage, but they don’t act out in an angry manner. They don’t appear to be angry, but inside they feel completely out of control. This is called internalized anger and is prevalent among some families and cultures that encourage restraint of what is perceived as “negative emotions,” especially anger. These are persons that keep their anger bottled up and do not express their feelings no matter how intense.

The severity of a persons anger management issues seems to be assessed and labeled by measuring the toll it takes on the persons external world, but many experts tell us that internalized anger can have a serious negative impact on our physical, emotional and psychological well being. Unfortunately many people who internalize their anger never consider the benefits of anger counseling or an anger management course.

Research indicates that chronic internalized forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc. give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Internalized chronic anger can elevate blood pressure, increase the threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety, and generally depresses the immune system. Angry people tend to seek relief from their ill moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or workaholism and perfectionism.

Internalized anger also tends to “leak out” no matter how hard a person attempts to repress it. If a person feels significant anger, even if they don’t overtly express it, it comes out in other ways such as passive aggressive behaviors, harsh indirect comments, sabotaging others, body language, sarcasm, over controlling behaviors, bullying and inappropriate teasing.

The key is to recognize that it’s important to learn to express anger skillfully and respectfully, whether the anger is internalized or shared openly with others. For the person that internalizes their anger there is hope. Through techniques taught in anger management courses, persons suffering from internalized anger can learn to express their anger in healthy ways and avoid the significant psychological and physical repercussions associated with this dangerous condition.

Dr. Doug Loisel

Daybreak Counseling Service
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