Stress Management Check in- How am I feeling today?
Yesterday, I was driving on the freeway on my way to work and this guy cut me off almost causing an accident. My reaction? A little shaken but I quickly managed to move on with a shrug and prayer that he and everyone else on the freeway stay safe. A “thank you Lord he didn’t hit me” and a refocus back on the day ahead of me seemed to be enough.
Today, I was driving on the freeway on my way to work and a guy cut me off almost causing an accident. My reaction? For starters, I yelled out curse words that would make even a sailor turn red, wished him a horrible day and, when that wasn’t enough, I decided to chase him down a few miles and show him a hand signal that illustrated my current affection toward him. Yes, the bird.
Two identical situations, two completely different responses. What was the difference? I use this example in almost every anger management class because it always hits home for people. It particularly lends itself to a discussion about stress management.
When thinking about these two situations, ask yourself what stressors might have triggered the more negative response. Perhaps today, when I blew up in anger, I had left the house upset about a fight I had with my husband that morning. Or, maybe I was tired from not getting enough sleep. What if I hadn’t had breakfast and I was hungry? Or, the neighbor’s car was in my driveway and I was running late to work. It’s even possible I’m simply unhappy with my job and was already dreading the day from the moment I opened my eyes.
Whichever of these it might actually be, the common denominator is stress. It’s important to remember that we encounter all sorts of stressors throughout our day that affect our mood and reactions. Becoming aware of what these stressors are can help us manage our anger more effectively. One tool I use daily is called a “self check-in.” This is one of my favorite tools for keeping my reactions and mood in check. For example, I use certain times in the day to just ask myself how I’m feeling and process whatever unresolved issue or feelings I may have that day. My usual check-in times are once on my way to work and once on my way home. In the morning for example, I don’t just check in but I also set my own mood. If I look at my day ahead and mentally prepare for the kind of day I’d like to have, I’m more likely to actually have a good day. On the drive home from work, I check in and make sure I’m not taking work baggage with me. I take time to process my day, rejuvenate my mood, and focus on my relationship at home.
In anger management classes, my students practice identifying their stressors and self check-in times as homework. What they learn is that becoming more aware of their stressors and having check-ins are just a few ways to keep them from chasing down that car that will inevitably cut them off every now and then.
Diana Gutierrez, MS
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
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