By Susan
Heathfield
Some
people exude negativity. They don’t like their jobs or
they don’t like their company. Their bosses are always
jerks and they are always treated unfairly. The company
is always going down the tube and customers are
worthless. You know these negative Neds and Nellies –
every organization has some – and you can best address
their impact on you via avoidance.
On the other hand, sometimes normally positive people
are negative. Some of the time, too, their reasons for
negativity are legitimate. You will take a completely
different tack with these occasionally negative people.
We’ll deal with both of these varieties of negativity
from people.
Tips for Dealing With Occasional Negativity
Sometimes people repeat negative sentiments over and
over because they don’t feel like you have really
listened to them. Ask questions. Clarify their
statements. Make sure you have actively listened.
·
Decide if you believe the employee or coworker has
legitimate reasons for their negativity. If you
decide affirmatively, ask if they’d like your help
to solve the problem. If they ask for help, provide
advice or ideas for how the coworker can address the
reason for their negativity.
Short term advice that points a person in a positive
direction is welcome. But, your role is not to provide
therapy or counseling. Nor, is your role to provide
comprehensive career advice or long term
recommendations. Point the coworker to helpful books,
seminars, or the Human Resources Department to solve
their problem. Know your limits when advising coworkers.
·
Sometimes, the coworker just wants to complain to
a friendly, listening ear; they don’t want your advice
or assistance to address the situation. Listen, but set
limits so the coworker does not overstay or over-talk
his or her welcome. Long term complaining saps your
energy and positive outlook. Don’t allow that to happen.
Walk away. Tell the coworker you’d prefer to move on to
more positive subjects.
·
If
you listen to the coworker’s negativity, and decide the
concerns are not legitimate, practice personal courage
and tell them what you think. Tell the coworker you care
about their concern and about their happiness at work,
but you disagree with their assessment of the situation.
Back gracefully out of additional conversations. The
coworker will attempt to appeal to your sympathetic
nature, but if you believe the negativity is
unwarranted, don’t spend your time listening or helping
the coworker to address the negative feelings. You will
only encourage long term and growing negative feelings
and, potentially, behavior. You will set yourself up as
a negativity magnet. Constant negative interactions will
eventually permeate your interaction with your
workplace.
Tips for Dealing With Negative Coworkers
Deal with genuinely negative people by spending as
little time with them as possible. Just as you set
limits with the coworkers whose negativity you believe
is baseless or unwarranted, you need to set limits with
genuinely negative people.
Causes of their long term negativity are not your
concern. Every negative person has a story. Don’t impact
your positive outlook by listening to the stories, or
reviewing the history and the background about the
grievances purported to cause the negativity. You
reinforce the negativity; negativity is a choice.
Negativity mongers need a new job, a new company, a new
career, a new outlook, or counseling. They don’t need
you.
Deal with negative coworkers in these ways.
·
Avoid spending time with a negative coworker.
·
If
you are forced, through your role in the company, to
work with a negative person, set limits. Do not allow
yourself to be drawn into negative discussions. Tell the
negative coworker, you prefer to think about your job
positively. Avoid providing a sympathetic audience for
the negativity.
·
Suggest the negative person seek assistance from human
resources or their supervisor.
·
If
all else fails, talk to your own supervisor or human
resources staff about the challenges you are
experiencing in dealing with the negative person. Your
supervisor may have ideas, may be willing to address the
negativity, and may address the issue with the negative
person’s supervisor. Persistent negativity, that impacts
coworkers’ work is a work behavior that may require
disciplinary action.
·
If
negativity among employees in your company is
persistent, if the issues that warrant negativity are
left unaddressed, and the negativity affects your
ability to professionally perform your work, you may
want to consider moving on. Your current culture will
not support your desired work environment. And, if no
one is working to improve a work culture that enables
negativity, don’t expect the culture to change any time
soon.
