Motivation and Anger Management

I often receive phone calls from frustrated spouses and worried parents. They often ask the question “How can I get my loved one to go to an anger management class?” It is interesting to note that I never get this question from judges in the Los Angeles County Courts.

The quesiton is one of motivation.

Motivation to change can come from one of two sources. The most productive source of motivation comes from within. Internal motivation comes when an individual feels a uneasiness within. Often their behavior or attitude is not aligned with their beliefs or value system. Internal motivation is s a scratching of the concious. It tells a person, “I can do better” or “I need a change”

External motivation is the second source that encourages change. This is the type of motivation used by the courts. A judge can motivate a defendant by ordering him to complete 52 anger management classes or spend 3 to 5 years in jail. You would be surprised by the compliance of such a defendent.

I often see the same compliance when a wife or husband draws a line in the sand. When someone calls me and tells me my spouse has put me out and will not talk to me until I complete an anger management course I know they are feeling some external motivation to change.

I am not concerned about what motivated a client to come to class, I am confident that once he or she reaches us we can take it from there. It’s your job to get them in the room.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
310-995-1202