I’m a piece of s*%! and so are you! -Anger management and self-talk.

February 10, 2012

How many times do you call yourself names – put yourself down for not doing something perfectly?  Are you impatient with yourself when you are learning something new?

Participants in anger management classes are taught how important “self-talk” is – it is one of the 8 tools taught to better manage your anger. If our self-talk is negative, especially about ourselves, we suffer.

Many of the people in an anger management course are reluctant to think well of themselves, but are quick to point out their shortcomings. When we focus only on our defects we are quick to berate or put ourselves down.

The unfortunate result of our negative self-talk about our selves is diminished self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. This can produce an overall mood of antagonism and defensiveness.  It makes it more difficult to respond to others in a positive balanced way. We get angry more quickly and often. We can perceive judgment when there is none.  We take offense easily and can distort the messages we receive. Basically we set ourselves up to be provoked and become a hotbed for anger.

In addition those who are overly self-critical of themselves have a tendency to be critical of others. We have a habit of painting everyone with the brush of high and sometimes unachievable expectations. If you find those close to making statements like “I can’t do enough to please you” or “you are always putting me down”, changing your own self talk may help.

Becoming aware of our “self-talk” is the beginning of changing our thoughts and challenging our harmful self-judgment. We start to feel better about ourselves, no longer are defensive and we can watch our relationships begin to improve. Self-disparagement no longer affects our thinking and thus our behaviors.

It is sometimes worthwhile to seek help to find out where and why we have negative thoughts about ourselves. It is never too late to change and grow. Self-improvement is always a noble endeavor.

By Shannon Munford 

To learn more tips about self-talk and how they effect relationships and how you anger your anger call 855-662-6437 or visit or website at www.daybreakservices.com

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Shannon Munford

Shannon Munford

Anger Management Expert and Counselor at Daybreak Services

Shannon Munford is an anger management expert and the owner and founder of Daybreak Services, an education center offering anger management classes, counseling, and therapy in Los Angeles, California. His clients consist of members within the entertainment industry as well as corporate America.

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