Great Expectations can lead to poor anger management

I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I. And if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful, if not, it can’t be helped.
Fritz Perls GestaltTherapy co-founder

One powerful anger management technique is adjusting our expectations of ourselves and of others. Many of us hold unrealistic or distorted expectations which can lead to disappointment and anger. One mistake we make is to expect everyone to be like we are. This usually results in problematic relationships and misconstrued communication patterns. It often creates unnecessary crisis or resentment.

When we expect too much of ourselves, we set ourselves up for failure and results in loss of confidence and self-esteem. Certainly expecting for “perfection” keeps us in ongoing shame and self-reproach.

On the contrary when we expect ourselves to do the best we can with the knowledge and experience we have, we are being kind to ourselves and practicing realistic expectations.

I expect people to “be who they are”. Nothing more, nothing less. Expectations of others concerning my behavior and beliefs are none of my business. When I am confident that I am functioning as a kind and humble person, then I am fulfilling my own expectations, which is what matters. It is not a competition. I need to “live and let live”. Realistic expectations lead to peace and harmonious relationships.

Susan Levy MA
Daybreak Counseling Service
3301 Ocean Park Blvd. #111
Santa Monica CA 90405
855 NO ANGER
855 662-6437
www.daybreakservices.com