Over the years, I’ve had great and fun discussions in my anger management classes as we’ve come up with a variety of creative ways to express anger in a healthy and physical way. There is a misconception at times that when teaching people to manage their anger, we’re asking them to hold it in or only learn ways to express it verbally. But, that’s not the case. I’ve had students honestly admit that sometimes they just need to let it out in a physical way to help them calm down or feel a “release.” Over the years I have collaboratively collected a list of great ways to “let it out.” Some of them are more obvious while others may seem a bit silly or weird at first. But, for those people who crave that physical release, these ideas often work and become great tools for preventing more explosive situations. I strongly encourage you to read through these with an open mind. As silly as it may seem when you imagine yourself doing some of these, remember no one has to know you’re doing it. It’s just for you.

• A one person pillow fight
• Working out on a weight bag
• Competitive Sports.
• Yelling behind closed doors
• Tearing a magazine into pieces.
• Chopping Wood
• Throwing a nerf ball into the wall
• Beating drums
• Screaming in a room by yourself or into a pillow
• Wringing a wet towel
• Squeezing clay
• Dance to you drop
• Throwing stones in ocean

Daybreak Counseling Service provides creative ways to help you manage your anger. To try one of our classes visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-662-6437.  We are located in the cities of Santa Monica, Gardena, Pasadena serving Los Angeles County and Yorba Linda Serving the Orange County area.   

On the contrary, anger is a normal emotion and one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotions. Here are some facts about anger.

• Anger is a reaction to an inner emotion, not a planned action and when expressed appropriately it can lead to healthy relationships, increased self control and an overall healthier you.
• Anger is easier to express because the primary feelings underlying anger (hurt, sad, embarrassed, etc) tend to make us feel vulnerable and weak. Anger tends to make you feel, at least momentarily, strong and in control.
• Everyone feels anger and everyone has a response to anger. The key is learning the correct responses to anger.
• Angry behaviors are learned over the life-span and therefore can be unlearned and replaced with healthier patterns of coping.
• To repress anger is unhealthy and yet to express it impulsively may give momentary relief but inevitably will carry negative consequences.
• Anger is a useful healthy emotion because it alerts us to the fact that something is bothering us. It is what we do with our anger that makes the difference between handling anger well or not.

During Anger Management Therapy one learns tools on how to express anger in appropriate ways where you feel heard, more in control and more aware of your emotions. And, remember anger is not a bad thing. It is a normal and healthy emotion as long as it is dealt with in appropriate ways.

For more information about how to handle your anger contact Shannon Munford at 855-662-6437 or visit http://www.daybreakservices.com

Participants in anger management classes are taught how important “self-talk” is – it is one of the 8 tools taught to better manage your anger. If our self-talk is negative, especially about ourselves, we suffer.

Many of the people in an anger management course are reluctant to think well of themselves, but are quick to point out their shortcomings. When we focus only on our defects we are quick to berate or put ourselves down.

The unfortunate result of our negative self-talk about our selves is diminished self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. This can produce an overall mood of antagonism and defensiveness.  It makes it more difficult to respond to others in a positive balanced way. We get angry more quickly and often. We can perceive judgment when there is none.  We take offense easily and can distort the messages we receive. Basically we set ourselves up to be provoked and become a hotbed for anger.

In addition those who are overly self-critical of themselves have a tendency to be critical of others. We have a habit of painting everyone with the brush of high and sometimes unachievable expectations. If you find those close to making statements like “I can’t do enough to please you” or “you are always putting me down”, changing your own self talk may help.

Becoming aware of our “self-talk” is the beginning of changing our thoughts and challenging our harmful self-judgment. We start to feel better about ourselves, no longer are defensive and we can watch our relationships begin to improve. Self-disparagement no longer affects our thinking and thus our behaviors.

It is sometimes worthwhile to seek help to find out where and why we have negative thoughts about ourselves. It is never too late to change and grow. Self-improvement is always a noble endeavor.

Shannon Munford 

To learn more tips about self-talk and how they effect relationships and how you anger your anger call 855-662-6437 or visit or website at www.daybreakservices.com

You can follow or tweets at www.twitter.com/angryinla or visit us on Facebook.

Eugene Temkin was sentenced to 6 years imprison for planning a failed murder for hire against his business partner. The 51 year old Goleta,Californiaman tried not once but twice to hire a hit man to kill his former business partner. In 2001 Michael Herman found himself in debt to the amount of $500.000 to Temkin. The case was settled in 2006 but that wasn’t enough for Temkin. Over a span of five years Temkin made it his business to get his money back in blood, sweat and tears.

In fear for his life Michael Herman received a restraining order in an effort to protect him and his family, but Temkin constantly harassed them. For several years their emails were hacked, the children were followed by strangers. In 2010 the 20 year old son of Herman overdosed on drugs after years of fear and intimidation. He used to sleep with a sword for protection. Herman’s teen daughter is currently in a mental institution suffering from hallucinations. She believes she has been kidnapped by her father’s former business partner

When you have been wronged, do you want to “get back” at the person?  When an injustice has occurred do you plan an attack on the person, or people, that have done you wrong?  I’ve heard several times in anger Management classes, “if I catch him in the street…” You can feel in the blank.

My question to this is will it solve anything?  You might think that it will make you feel better, but will it?  Probably not!  Matter of fact, if you plan an act of violence not only do you have the chance of getting hurt, but also the chance of getting in serious legal trouble.  It is natural to be angry at a person after an attack.  Anger is simply a natural emotion.  What we do with that behavior is what really counts!  By holding on to the memory and emotion of an injustice, you form grievances that continue to control and hurt you. By planning revenge you are actually allowing the other person to continue to occupy your thoughts and have the upper hand.

Instead of planning an act of revenge, I recommend- be the best you can be– no matter who the other person is.  There are always going to be stressors, or people that anger and hurt us, in our lives.  What we need to do is focus on who we want to be in the world like doing the right thing, living our life in the healthiest way, being a good example for our children or the children in our community.  These are the things that you need to remember.  To put it plainly, becoming controlled by thoughts of revenge will do the most harm to you than anyone else in the long run.

Shannon Munford

Daybreak Counseling Service teaches anger management techniques that help clients deal with difficult emotions. The assertive expression of emotion is an excellent alternative to rage and aggression. For more information please visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-662-6437

Our anger management class is not a parenting class. But, it can definitely help you understand how your behavior is impacting those around you and managing your emotions can help you learn to communicate and even parent more effectively. Many times I have had adults in my anger management class realize that they are bullies in their home with their kids and even their spouse. It’s important to understand that kids are not born bullies. No one is. We learn it from somewhere.

If you are a parent or have a teen struggling with bullying behavior, take the first step in a direction of hope and change for you or them. In anger management courses you will learn new ways of communicating and getting what you need and want from others. You will learn to feel more in control of yourself and your life. You can learn skills that will help you relax, solve and respond to problems more effectively, and be more positive in your thinking. Best of all, you can discover these new skills in a non-judgmental and friendly environment of people who care about helping you change.

Shannon Munford

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger management education that addresses the causes of bullying. For more information regarding our classes please visit:

www.daybreakservices.com

Or call

855-662-6437

855- NO ANGER

I recently had serious problems with my car.  I was upset about the problem and took the car to a friend’s mechanic that I knew I could trust.

Turned out the car needed a new transmission for $1500.00. I wasn’t happy about this but there was nothing I could do about it.

When the car still wasn’t running well, I told myself it was just a car and that the mechanic was doing the best he could. The mechanic asked me why I wasn’t angry and yelling at him (as he suggested most of his customers would have done).

I told him that my getting angry at him or the situation would serve no purpose. I could tell that he appreciated my attitude.

I believe that my acceptance and kindness made him that much more determined to fix the problem

I am always uncomfortable when I see someone screaming or verbally abusing someone who isn’t meeting their needs immediately. I have seen this in restaurants, retail stores and at the DMV.

There are several of anger management “tools” that helped me handle this situation in a positive manner. First I was able to manage my “thoughts and self-talk”. I thought: “It’s just a car. You trust the mechanic and know he is invested in fixing the problem”.

Then I was empathetic because he felt so frustrated that he couldn’t find the problem. I could identify with his high stress level. I kept my “expectations” in reality. I kept my own “stress” level in control.  I knew if I let my stress overcome, me I could get very angry. Even though I was stressed, worried and fearful of the cost, my behavior stayed positive and accepting.

Anger Management classes have taught me that no matter how I feel, I can always “choose” my behaviors. Getting angry at everyday situations doesn’t help anyone and often leads to unmet needs for all concerned. Practice “acceptance” (of reality) and your life will work better.

No matter the situation I can always choose my behavior. That is a freedom.

Shannon Munford

Daybreak Counseling Service provides anger mangement classes in the city of Santa Monica, California, serving the Los Angeles area.

www.daybreakservices.com

855-NO ANGER

855-662-6437

Paying attention to our state of mind (thoughts and feelings) throughout the day is a helpful anger management technique. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions we learn to understand the patterns and energies that feed into our anger. Another useful time to do this is at two major transitions of our day: right after waking up and just before going to sleep. I give my students this tool to help become more aware.

When we wake up, we start our day, and how you begin sets the tone for the rest of your day. Before going to sleep is the end of your day so you can get an overall sense of how things went. Also, going to sleep is the beginning of your night’s sleep, so how you make that transition will shape how your sleep goes.

When you first wake up in the morning, notice what you are experiencing. What are your very first thoughts and feelings of the day? If you can’t identify anything or you can’t bring it into focus, lay there for a moment until you can identify something (feelings, thoughts, mood, etc) and write it down. You don’t need to be fancy with the writing. There’s nothing to analyze or figure out, just pure observation. “I don’t want to wake up; my life is too painful. I feel fantastic, and can’t wait to get up and enjoy my day! I feel terrible. I feel so exhausted. My body aches, and I hate my life. I feel grateful just to be alive. I can’t wait to get a cup of coffee. I feel completely terrified to face this day…” Whatever it is, notice as clearly and non-judgmentally as you can.

Then, do the same thing at night, just before you go to sleep. Notice your current thoughts and feelings and reflect on the day. For example; ”I feel tired. I feel horrible. I feel so bad about getting pissed off at work today. I am so pleased about the way that meeting went this afternoon. I hate myself for yelling at my wife this morning. I feel numb, and I don’t have any thoughts, it’s all just sort of a haze. I had an amazing and great day today. I am exhausted and I really don’t want to do this stupid exercise, I just want to go to sleep.” Keep it simple, write it down, and let it go.

Doing this exercise will help you become more aware of what triggers your anger and help explain your mood throughout the day. When you find yourself getting angry, allow yourself time to think things through and ask yourself, “What is causing my anger at this moment?” “What is really going on with my thoughts and feelings?” Developing this awareness helps gain insight into ourselves and what triggers our anger. When we do this, we then allow ourselves more freedom to deal with our anger in more appropriate ways.

Shannon Munford

To learn more about how to handle your anger join one of our live group sessions. We are located in the Los Angeles and Orange County areas. You can call 855-662-6437 or visit www.daybreakservices.com

Shannon Munford is the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service, an anger management education center located inLos Angeles and Orange County. Mr. Munford has also appeared as an anger management expert on several popular television shows including: Keeping up with the Kardashians, MTV Real World Hollywood, The Dr. Phil Show, MSNBC’s Dyaln Ratigan Show and E! Entertainment News.

Shannonwill be sharing from over a decade of his experience in the field of anger management, criminal justice and social services. Topics will include:

•  How to manage anger in your relationship
•  Stress management in the workplace
•  How to communicate with your angry teenager
•  Adjust your expectations and adjust your quality of life,
• Forgiveness- A gift to yourself.

Although Daybreak Counseling Service instructors provides weekly anger management classes for employees, families and court ordered clients these series of sessions are limited opportunities to hear from the founder, owner and anger management specialist himself, Shannon Munford.      

Each seminar will take place in one of Daybreak Counseling Services California education centers:

Saturday, January 7^th 2012 -Gardena,California

Saturday, January 14^th 2012 –Yorba Linda,California

Wednesday, January 18^th 2012-Santa Monica,California

Saturday,  January 28^th  2012-Pasadena,California  

For locations and times please call 855-662-6437 or visit www.daybreakservices.com

This common quote is the buidling block for anyone who is trying to change a destructive habit or behavior in their life. At the beginning of each new year we vow to live our lives different, to make a change in how we treat ourselves or how we treat other people. It is important to remember that although a new year’s resolution can motivate us into action it will take committment to stay motivated.

Enough is enough.

Those of us who have learned negative ways to handle our emotions especially anger understand the damage we have caused throughout the years. When we survey the our lives we see a destructive path and are often filled with a mix of regret and determination. 

In order for us to change our behavior we must be willing to be “in it” for the long haul. Some of us have spent decades behaving badly. In fact the actual structure of our brains have been programmed to act in aggressive and inpatient ways. Aggression is a learn skill an so is anger management.

Many clients who attend anger management classes note they see a difference in themselves often after the first class. They are encouraged by the revalation that change is possible. Unfortanately some clients quit before they can attain real and lasting sustained change.

Anger management is a process.

Learning to manage your anger is a process. There are no quick fixes. Most professionals reccommend we take at least a series of  ten anger management sessions to begin change. Most clients will need any where between twenty-six sessions and fifty-two sessions to get the change to stick.

In an anger management group you will learn how to manage your stress, adjust your expectations and communicate effectively but the number one determining factor in how much you change is how long you are willing to stay with your anger management program.

Remind yourself.

The fist step is to get started, but please realize that this is just the first step. When you feel your motivation waining remind yourself of why you made the commitment to change. Was is to save a relationship? Was it to keep your job? Was it for a better quality of life?

Create Accountability. 

Tell someone about your committment to change. When you tell others about your plans to change your behavior you create accountability. Let others help you stay motivated by including them in on your goals.    

Reward yourself.

Be sure to give yourself credit for hanging in there. After each anger management class give yourself a positve affirmations. ” I am changing.”   I am good person.” You may want to treat yourself to a nice lunch or by a new outfit. If no one else acknowledges your effort your should.    

Shannon Munford is an anger management expert and the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service. He is nationally recognized speaker and has appeared on several television and radio shows spreading the word on the subject of anger and emotional contol. For more information visit www.daybreakservices.com or call 855-662-6437

 When searching for an anger management course there a few important questions you should ask?

 What experience do you have?

There is no governing body that monitors the field of anger management. Some who provide the service may have a limited education and limited experience. Daybreak Counseling Service only hires people who have Master Degrees in Counseling, Psychology or Marriage Family Therapy. In addition our instructors have both group counseling and individual counseling experience.

 What is your hiring process?

 Daybreak Counseling Service has an extensive vetting process before contracting with an anger management instructor. The CEO at Daybreak Counseling Service reviews a large volume of resumes and selects the cream of the crop before he conducts an initial phone interview. Candidates are screened for availability, proximity to the teaching environment and passion.

 After the phone interview candidates are invited to a face to face interview with the CEO of Daybreak and the general manager. The candidate is assessed for the level of comfort with working with a sensitive or temperamental population. They are questioned about their motives for working with the public as a helping professional.          

Phase Three of the interview process involves a mock group interview. 3-5 extremely qualified candidates are invited to facilitate a mock group. The candidates are judged for their enthusiasm and how well they articulate the lesson. We are especially interested in if the candidate is a good fit for the particular anger management location they are bidding for as each location has its own unique “personality”.     

 What are your fees?

 The cost of an anger management class varies widely. Be sure to ask if the fees are comparable to other agencies in the area. You may want to question the quality of the organization if the class is too inexpensive. If you find a class who requires an arm an a leg to join you may want to question the motives of that organization.

Location, Location, Location

A major reason clients stop attending there anger management class is due to transportation issues. When you lack the motivation to get help traveling to a location far for you place of residence or employment can be extremely inconvenient. When considering what agency to attend always choose a location near you. Daybreak Counseling Service has weekly classes in the cities ofGardena,Santa Monica,Yorba Linda and Pasadena. We also have a list of nation-wide providers listed on our website as a resource to you.    

To talk to an anger management expert call 855-662-6437 or visit www.daybreakservices.com