There are many types of emotions we feel when we are “angry.” After all anger is a family of many emotions and not just one. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are! Feelings are intrinsic communications from yourself that help you heal. In the world of anger management therapy there are two ways to distinguish this family of emotions: 1) “The Healing Feelings” and 2) “The Emotional Blocks.” The Healing Feelings are normal, natural and necessary because there is a holistic or healing benefit to why we feel them. If you block your healing feeling you become blocked and being to act or feel one of the emotional blocks which leads to a toxic and negative state. The emotional blocks are usually feelings we act out on others, and our selves. For example, we tend to blame others or ourselves when we block our anger or we tend to act judgmental of others and ourselves when we block our frustration. Therefore in an effort to heal ourselves we must first become conscious of how we are blocked. Once we are able to identify the block then we can allow ourselves to feel the healing feeling and understand the real reason we are feeling this way.

Healing Feeling Holistic Benefit General Feeling Emotional Block
1. Anger Boundary Defense Betrayal Blame
2. Sadness Endings Abandonment Depression
3. Afraid Warning Uncertainty Anxiety
4. Sorrow Grief Powerlessness Indifference
5. Frustration Persistence Dissatisfaction Judgment
6. Disappointment Detachment Discouragement Indecision
7. Worry Preparation Helplessness Procrastination
8. Embarrassment Self-Acceptance Inadequacy Perfectionism
9. Envy Motivation to Change Deprivation Resentment/Jealousy
10. Hurt Self-Awareness Exclusion Self-Pity
11. Fear Beginnings Hopelessness Confusion
12. Shame Remorse Unworthiness Guilt

Adapted by a chart originally create by John Gray

How do I make sense of this chart? I find the best way to begin is to start with the emotional block column because I am usually blocking my healing feeling. For example if I find myself blaming someone for my problem, and I take a look at the far left column under “Healing Feeling” I see that what I am truly feeling is Anger. But why am I feeling angry? For further insight into this question I then take a look at the next column labeled “Holistic Benefit.” There I see that the reason that my intuition is signaling an angry message is to warn me that my boundaries have been violated. To double check these interpretations, I now look to column #3, “General Feeling,” to see if I have been feeling betrayed in any way. Please remember the language of feelings is not an exact science. However, the more you feel your HEALING FEELINGS (left column) the better you will feel and the quicker you will heal! The longer you BLOCK your HEALING FEELINGS with NEGATVE/UNHEALTHY EMOTIONS (right column) the worse you will feel and the longer it will take you to heal. I encourage you to use Language of Feelings Chart frequently to feel your healing feelings and release your unhealthy emotions.

Diana Bonilla
Daybreak Counseling Service
14416 Hamlin St. #107
Van Nuys CA
310-995-1202
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Shannon Munford,a nationally recognized anger management expert is interviewed by Ken Baker of E! Entertainment news about abused celebrities women like Kourtney Kardashian, Rhianna, Halle Berry and Brooke Mueller. Mr. Munford is the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service an education center where you can take an anger management class.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
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310-995-1202

Do to an increase in interest in anger management education. Daybreak Counseling Service has added a second anger management class in it Pasadena office. In addtion to it regular 7pm -8pm anger management course we have added a 6pm-7pm class. This class is again scheduled in an effort to mitgate an overflow of clients seeking help for anger management issues.

Daybreak Counseling Service meets at 183 N. Hill Street, Pasadena, Califronia. Classes are scheduled Tuesday nights from 6pm to 7pm; 7pm to 8pm and/or Saturday mornings at 9am.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
310-995-1202

Is Steven Slater the Jet Blue Anger Management Candidate getting a reality Show?

http://www.tmz.com/2010/08/14/steven-slater-reality-show-jet-blue-quit/

Daybreak Counseling Service
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Ryan Seacrest Productions and Sam Mettler, the creator of
“INTERVENTION” are teaming up and producing a new documentary series for A & E. We are very excited to help as many people as we can that suffer from serious emotional conditions.

For our first episode we are currently looking to do a story on anger management. We want to break the stereotypes and are seeking a woman to tell her story. Women are not usually portrayed dealing with Anger issues. And there is a stigma attached. But we believe their stories are important. If you know of anyone that would be right for this, we want to help. We want to explore how their current condition is affecting their lives, emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and in their relationships- both family and social. We value our reputation and have worked with severe emotional trauma in the past. We have no intention exploiting or creating drama. We take any condition very seriously. They will also be working with renowned author and hypnotherapist, Paul McKenna. He will explore when the anger started, how it is affecting their day-to-day lives and if they feel a sense of lost potential. Paul wants to get them to realize that potential once again! We are looking for loved ones or close friends that would participate as well. These conditions don’t occur in a bubble. We do compensate and a fee will be considered for their time. Thank you for passing this on to anyone you know or any volunteers in the program. PLEASE- would it be ok to post anything up in your classes or places of of high visibility to attract people who would be interested in participating? I can be reached at 818 983 – 6196 And my website is www.helpmecasting.com

Sincerely, Marc Levine

Shannon Munford, anger management expert gives Dylan Ratigan a few tips on how to control his anger. He also talks about recent anger outbursts of a Mcdonalds customer and a Jet Blue flight attendant, Steven Slater. Shannon Munford is the CEO of Daybreak Counseling Service. His company provides anger management courses throughout the nations

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
310-995-1202

There are a many of misunderstandings about anger management and the type of person that can benefit from an anger management class. One of the misunderstandings I have observed is that until a person’s anger has got them into some sort of legal trouble, they are having serious problems on the job, or significant damage is occurring in their personal relationships, they don’t believe they need to address their anger management issues. Unfortunately, many people feel intense anger and rage, but they don’t act out in an angry manner. They don’t appear to be angry, but inside they feel completely out of control. This is called internalized anger and is prevalent among some families and cultures that encourage restraint of what is perceived as “negative emotions,” especially anger. These are persons that keep their anger bottled up and do not express their feelings no matter how intense.

The severity of a persons anger management issues seems to be assessed and labeled by measuring the toll it takes on the persons external world, but many experts tell us that internalized anger can have a serious negative impact on our physical, emotional and psychological well being. Unfortunately many people who internalize their anger never consider the benefits of anger counseling or an anger management course.

Research indicates that chronic internalized forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc. give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Internalized chronic anger can elevate blood pressure, increase the threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety, and generally depresses the immune system. Angry people tend to seek relief from their ill moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or workaholism and perfectionism.

Internalized anger also tends to “leak out” no matter how hard a person attempts to repress it. If a person feels significant anger, even if they don’t overtly express it, it comes out in other ways such as passive aggressive behaviors, harsh indirect comments, sabotaging others, body language, sarcasm, over controlling behaviors, bullying and inappropriate teasing.

The key is to recognize that it’s important to learn to express anger skillfully and respectfully, whether the anger is internalized or shared openly with others. For the person that internalizes their anger there is hope. Through techniques taught in anger management courses, persons suffering from internalized anger can learn to express their anger in healthy ways and avoid the significant psychological and physical repercussions associated with this dangerous condition.

Dr. Doug Loisel

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Shannon Munford M.A., a nationally recognized anger management expert was interviewed by E! Entertainment Coorespondent Ken Baker.

At the height of their stardom and at the pinnacle of their success many of the worlds most beautiful and powerful women have been victims of physical or verbal abuse by the hands of their significant other.

The list is like a who’s who in fashion, music and movies. Halle Berry, Oksana, Rhianna, Kourtney Kardashian, Brooke Mueller.
Why would these women who appaer to have it all allow themselves to be ridiculed and abused by men. The answer to that question is found somewhere behind the glamour, behind PR machine. They don’t have it all. Somewhere inside them they do not feel worthy of love, true love that is. Becuase true love does not beat you, true love does not curse you or cause you to live in fear.

Fame can be an isolating monster. You don’t know who to trust and you can’t relate to the common 9 to 5 Joe or soccer mom. For some of these women their only constant is the man they say they love. He is a twisted stablizing force. At least they know what to expect from him even if they expect the worst.

In most cases awareness will come but often too late. Physical injury and public embarrasment can be a shocking wake up call. The goal of any anger management practioner is to keep the client from being lulled back to sleep by their perpetrator.

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Many years ago I was the facilitator for a group on Codependence.
By definition members of the group were uncomfortable about expressing their true feelings. Because codependents often put other people’s feelings above their own, they don’t speak up for themselves. The reasons for this are many, including fear of confrontation, low self -esteem, or wanting to always appear “nice” (even to their own detriment).

During one group the members were asked to talk about “anger.” Did they know what it was, know how to deal with it, and what the consequences are of not dealing with it? There was a lively discussion during which members learned that if we don’t recognize and express our anger, it does not just go away. It stays inside us and can create serious emotional and physical problems as well as the buildup of “resentments”. Our system becomes toxic, but we are usually unaware of it.

One of the group members gave a very good example of the results of holding anger in. She was a very sweet woman who said she didn’t identify with “anger”. She was the wife of a man who had been an alcoholic for 30 years and said that she just “learned to accept it” (not a true or honest statement). She had built up a rage of which she was unaware. She was, however, very depressed and addled with extremely low self-esteem.

One week she came to group and told the members that while she rarely gets angry, she found out that her 20-year-old was using heroin. She became so enraged that she beat him with a tire iron.

This is a stunning example of what years of not acknowledging or expressing anger can do. In fact, she had been angry for years and years but had chosen not to deal with it. She, herself, was astonished at what she did to her son. Fortunately she was willing to seek counseling to finally deal with her lifetime denial of her anger and what harm it had caused her.

This is a cautionary tale. Hopefully others will make an effort to recognize their true feelings of anger before they experience such explosive
consequences. Anger management classes offers skills and techniques that encourage the healthy expression of anger.

By Susan Levy

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Even though “anger” is just one of many feelings, more often than not you may feel bad about yourself when you get angry. The fact is that you can choose our thoughts and actions, but your “feelings” come upon us without our bidding. So feeling bad or guilty about being angry is unnecessary. When you feel violated in any way, your psyche causes the feeling of anger.

On the other hand acting against your own values is an appropriate reason to feel guilty. It is not your feelings that trip you up, but rather the “behavior” that results from your feelings. So how do we behave when we get angry?

It’s not all your fault

From childhood to adulthood you have developed specific thoughts and beliefs. What you think determines how you feel and how you act. The thoughts and beliefs you carry are often those of your parents, teachers, the media, your school, etc. but are very often not our own.

You can change

Since your thoughts and beliefs create your feelings and life perspective, you need to take inventory at some point. You are no longer a child. You can change your “self-talk” and to examine your “old ideas.” Does what you think still work for you or are they causing unmanageability in your life?

This is an important element in managing anger and learning how to better process it while in a classroom setting with others with similar challenges.

For many, attendance in an anger management class is a “wake up call” – an opportunity to take stock of themselves and let go of what isn’t working in their favor – they begin learning how to change for the better. They find out who they really are and choose their own beliefs and thoughts.

Anger management students are given specific new “tools” with which they can more successfully manage their feelings of anger in a way that doesn’t hurt themselves or others. It is a profound and exciting process.

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