Superhumans! Anger Management and handling stress.

America is obsessed with the Superhero! For decades the idea that some among us possess the supernatural ability to overcome the laws of gravity, read minds, become invisible has dominated our culture. It fits right in with our protestant ethics: Work Hard, acheive more, be the greatest, but what happens when the the pressure of life begins to outweight the power we posess?

A conversation that comes up often in my anger management class is how bad we are at dealing or acknowledging our levels of stress. Many times in my class, students will say they are not stressed or they ask to simply skim over that topic since they are good at handling their stressors and don’t identify that as a particular problem in their life. Well, almost always, they’re wrong.

For some reason, we tend to think we can handle everything. As Americans, we feel we can do it all. There is a perception in society that if we aren’t constantly in a rush and feeling stressed, then we’re not productive and useful. It’s just not the American way, right? Unfortunately, that also means we’re angrier. We have gotten so good at ignoring our stressors that we think “that’s life,” and being stressed and grumpy is just part of it. Well, I don’t agree and I make this a clear point in my class.

Once we begin to scrutinize our daily life, I bet we will find that we are not as good at managing stress as we give ourselves credit for. Noticing and addressing our stressors as they come is a skill that is learned and needs to be practiced, even for me.

Before beginning to learn ways to manage stress, I recommend taking the small first step of learning to become aware of stress by simply slowing down. Practice taking a few moments each day to check in and ask yourself some questions. Here are a few to get you started.

1. What is my mood today?
2. What am I worried about today?
3. Is there a problem or issue I’ve been ignoring?
4. What have I done for myself today?
5. What do I need to do to feel better today?

Making a habit out of asking simple questions like these can help us slow down and remember that we don’t have super powers. None of us are superman or superwoman. Acknowledging we can’t do it all is actually a very positive quality that only makes us human.

Diana Gutierrez, MS
Daybreak Counseling Service
183 N. Hill St. #202
Pasadena, CA 91106
www.daybreakservices.com
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