The Formula
There is a direct correlation to the way one manages stress and how one manages anger. Stress occurs when the number of demands we have in our lives are greater than the number of resources we have to cope with those demands.
I was never great at algerbra or any other type of math, but this is one formula I can relate to.
DEMANDS > RESOURCES = STRESS
Our goal when solving this equation is to reduce or eliminate stress. We can reduce stress and solve this equation in two ways.
Decrease the demands on your life
If the number of demands in our lives outweighs the number of resources we have we need to decrease the number of demands. We do this by working on the left side of the equation.
What are others demanding of you? What do you demand of yourself? Longer hours at work? More money in the bank? Perfect Children? A perfect relationship. If these demands are stressing you out we must begin to remove them or at least reframe the way we think of them.
Increase your resources
The second adjustment we can make in this “stress” equation is to increase the number of resources we have in our lives to minimize stress. Resources are not only tangible in nature. (Money, Cars, Homes) A strong spiritual life is a resource. Unconditional love from family and friends are resources. Being able to talk to someone with out being judged is a resource. If you are able to increase the number of resources you have in your life you can begin tho reduce stress.
Anger Management is more than biting your tongue. It is a series of specific tools and techniques than help people manage their emotions more appropriately. Stress management is one of the most effective tools anyone can learn in an anger management class.
Shannon Munford MS
Daybreak Counseling Service
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