Managing your anger when you would rather fight or take flight.

The flight or fight response came about as an evolutionary response to survival in a harsh environment where our lives where indeed threatened by predators. Back in the day, if we were hunting or gathering and came across a saber tooth tiger we would definitely act on our fight or flight mode but now a days, reacting in a fight or flight mode to the taxi cab that just cut us off would be considered maladaptive. Often times, in order to overcome our agitation and practice anger management we tend to verbally vent or physically vent our aggression. Angry cognitions/verbalizations such as, “I am so pissed I want to scream!” Or behavioral expressions such as throwing a pad of paper onto the floor are counter- productive to our anger management skills. Although anger arousal and agitation are normal it is best to teach and practice more adaptive ways to cope with such triggers. This in turns helps individuals develop more social appropriate ways to interact with their environment and other people around them. Thus, in an attempt to replace these maladaptive anger-oriented thoughts and actions clients can be taught ways that are more likely to reduce their thoughts and actions with attitude less likely to lead to anger.

This is not an easy task and requires hard work, practice, and a commitment to want to change. The motivation and acceptance of responsibility for our own actions has to be acknowledged by the person who is trying to convert their maladaptive ways to healthier adaptive ways to cope. The following are examples of how an individual can turn this around through the use of physical relaxation. Since relaxation is hard wired into the brain, this makes it a very successful tool to implement. When relaxation is triggered in the brain, neurochemicals are released that counteract the activation of the fight or flight response. There are many ways to elicit this relaxation. Here are just a few that you can start now to use:

1) Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR).
2) Hypnotherapy
3) The use of a mantra, such as repeating the word “Calm” during a repetitive exercise such as walking, swimming or running. The word is repeated in cadence with the steps or strokes or running.
4) Yoga, which focuses on the movement of the body paired with the breath
5) Deep diaphragmatic breathing exercises
6) Repetitive prayer
7) Mindfulness meditations a Buddhist technique that seems to elicit a relaxations response. In this type of meditation one simple “observes” and “notices” without reacting to worldly surroundings. There is no judgment. Walking along a sandy beach and listening to the waves crash or going to a field or forest and listening to the sound of the crickets. Thus spending time in nature may be relaxing for some clients.
9) Water, in many forms can be very soothing. Taking a warm bath or shower will elicit a relaxation response. Or clients can choose to sit by a creek, listen to the running water or even visualize a lake or ocean.
10) Singing or chanting a rhythmic but mellow song or short poem can elicit the relaxation response.

Local bookstores offer a wide variety of tools for relaxation such as books, audio tapes and videotapes. Often time it is incorporation a variety of relaxations techniques that helps the individual find the best one that suite him or her.

Using relaxation techniques is essential to helping individuals in anger management make better decisions as it helps individuals navigate the stormy seas of life and lowers the responsiveness to anger triggers and thus raises the anger threshold.

Daybreak Counseling Service
By: Diana Bonilla, M.A.
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
855 NO ANGER
855-662-6437