GUILT FREE ANGER

Even though “anger” is just one of many feelings, more often than not you may feel bad about yourself when you get angry. The fact is that you can choose our thoughts and actions, but your “feelings” come upon us without our bidding. So feeling bad or guilty about being angry is unnecessary. When you feel violated in any way, your psyche causes the feeling of anger.

On the other hand acting against your own values is an appropriate reason to feel guilty. It is not your feelings that trip you up, but rather the “behavior” that results from your feelings. So how do we behave when we get angry?

It’s not all your fault

From childhood to adulthood you have developed specific thoughts and beliefs. What you think determines how you feel and how you act. The thoughts and beliefs you carry are often those of your parents, teachers, the media, your school, etc. but are very often not our own.

You can change

Since your thoughts and beliefs create your feelings and life perspective, you need to take inventory at some point. You are no longer a child. You can change your “self-talk” and to examine your “old ideas.” Does what you think still work for you or are they causing unmanageability in your life?

This is an important element in managing anger and learning how to better process it while in a classroom setting with others with similar challenges.

For many, attendance in an anger management class is a “wake up call” – an opportunity to take stock of themselves and let go of what isn’t working in their favor – they begin learning how to change for the better. They find out who they really are and choose their own beliefs and thoughts.

Anger management students are given specific new “tools” with which they can more successfully manage their feelings of anger in a way that doesn’t hurt themselves or others. It is a profound and exciting process.

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