Who is driving your bus?

Many people, in an effort to be “nice” or to avoid confrontation, allow others to call the shots. They give their power away by allowing others to exert their will over them and end up controlled by the expectations and decisions of another.

Although this is what some believe is the easy way to handle relationships or stay conflict-free, they pay a very high price both mentally and emotionally. Their self-esteem dwindles and they become very angry.

Feeling of powerlessness and resentment ensue when they realize that they are no longer driving their own bus. They have turned the wheel over to others to manage their lives for them and they become even more angry.

They greatly resent others who are making choices and decisions for them without realizing that they have given their decision to allow it.

If they are fortunate, there will be an occasion in which they will realize what they are doing that keeps them angry and shamed. It will not be easy for them to take back control of their lives. It is challenging and often scary to change behaviors and become more assertive. It is almost impossible to do on one’s own, so asking for help is important.

Help can come in the form of therapy, an anger management course or confiding in a trusted person who can give feedback and offer suggestions.

As these former “people pleasers” become more assertive and self-empowered by taking back control of their lives from others, they gratefully find out that their shame and anger are no longer an issue. An added bonus is that they are more respected and valued by themselves and others.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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