There is a difference, in my opinion, between New Years’ resolutions and “decisions”. Many of us makes “resolutions” to do things that we believe our good for us, Usually things which we have resolved to do year after year after year.

Typical issues are quitting smoking, losing weight, exercising or learning to management our anger. Those who have discovered that their anger has become a problem for them often strive to change how they act out.

The problem with resolutions are that they are seldom carried out. Many make them because “that’s just what people do”. They are not necessarily motivated nor the result of past consequences.

A decision, on the other hand, is usually born out of a recognized need that a certain behavior has caused (and is still causing) negative consequences. Motivation to improve a relationship, change how we are perceived in the workplace, stay out of legal trouble or change how we feel about ourselves is prompted by past unfavorable results of how we manage our emotions, especially “anger”.

Experiencing anger is inevitable and human, suffering from the way we express it is optional. That is what anger management is all about. At any time we are always responsible for our own behavior. There may be situations in which we claim our behavior is the result of what another person said or did to us. “If she hadn’t embarrassed me, I wouldn’t have left her at the party”. “He started it”. “They shouldn’t have called me names”.
We are quite creative in blaming others for our own behaviors.

No matter what happens to us, we are always accountable for our response. We always “choose” our behaviors”. Even if you believe you have been “justifiably” wronged, it is your issue how you respond.

So – if we “decide” to learn how to manage our anger in a way that doesn’t hurt ourselves or others, then we “decide” to take action in our own behalf. Anger Management classes are given everywhere. Therapists are available as well. Changing behavior is difficult. Even if you have the maturity and humility to acknowledge that you have an anger problem on your own, it is much smarter and effective to get help from another source.

“The mindset that created the problem cannot fix the problem”

Daybreak Counseling Service
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This entry was posted on Monday, January 11th, 2010 at 8:52 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.