Professional Tennis can be a challenging sport. Rain delays, nagging injuries and bad calls by the line judge can bring out the worst in the best competitors. John Mcenroe one of the premiere tennis players of all time is known more by his on the court tirades than his stellar play.

The tennis world had come to expect such behavior from John but not from one of the darlings of tennis.

Serena Williams not only lost an U.S. open tennis match but she may have lost the respect of fans world wide.

After a 32 hour delay the match between Kim Clijsters and Serena Willimas was halted after the line judge called Serena for a foot fault.

Rather than making an official protest to the WTA (Womens Tennis Association) Serena sent a volley of expletives:

“I swear to God I’m fucking taking this ball and shoving it down your fucking throat…” and then after a bunch of other yelling she closed it off with a… “motherfucker.”

I’m pretty sure that’s not the best way to get your point across. In fact it is a good way to get charged with a criminal or terroist threat.

Serena’s actions were not only rude but criminal. A terroist threat is a verbal or written statement that suggests an act of bodily harm agaisnt another.

If the WTA line judge considers pressing charges, Serena Willimas could face jail time, probation or at a minimum a court ordered anger management course.

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By Susan Levy

Having been a victim of both verbal and physical abuse, I can honestly report that for me the verbal was worse than the physical. The main reason for this is that the physical abuse heals in a short time; the verbal abuse can permanently damage or erode one’s very identity and self. Words are so much more powerful than most people realize and can ruin a day, a relationship or even a life.

Verbal abusers use “words” as their “weapon” and they are most often very good at demoralizing, hurting and even brutalizing without lifting a finger. Their motive is usually “control”. They want to “break you” and get you to live in their reality. Women in marriages with verbal abusers are often not actually held in contempt by their husbands. – rather they are the “victim” of the abusers discontent and rage.

Men who are consistently verbally abusive are often “narcissists”. This is a personality disorder that does not often respond to any kind of treatment or anger management courses. The narcissist cares only about himself and getting his every wish and need filled. He has no interest in how others feel and is indifferent to their welfare.

I stayed with my angry and abusive husband for 14 years not knowing what I was dealing with. I dressed nicer, lost weight, made nicer dinners, bought him gifts – placate, placate, placate! I believed that it was my fault that he acted the way he did. I was wrong – very wrong. I just happened to be his present punching bag to use when he couldn’t tolerate his own feelings, which is the game that abusers love to play.

Abusers evolve from years of anger, hate and resentment often formed in their families of origin. You cannot fix or cure them. I almost lost myself trying. The challenge to women is that these “narcissist” types are almost always extremely charming and seductive. They have a lot of practice in knowing just what to say and do to draw a woman in and manipulate her vulnerabilities to his benefit. Some women (like I was 30 years ago) get deluded by the charm and are oblivious to any danger or harm to themselves. If you meet a new man, get to really know him. Make sure you see where he “says” he lives. Ask to meet his friends. Be alert for signs of “controlling” words or behaviors. Meet some of his family members early on in the relationship.

Be aware. You cannot change this man You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

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Pro Bowler Linebacker Shawn Merriman is getting some publicity for a possible sack off the field. Merriman was arressted for possibly having an anger management meltdown when he was accused of assualting his girlfriend Tila Tequila. Tequila has a repuation for “sacks” herself from her MTV reality show in which men and women compete for her affection.

Reports say Police responded to a 911 call from Tequila who wanted to place Merriman on citizen arresst for Domestic Violence. She also demanded to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. She was realeased with no obvious physical injuries.

Merriman was realeased from a San Diego jail after making bail.

This incident is one of the first of a usually busy NFL season. As players ramp up for the NFL season it seems their personal lives take a dive.

Many times accusations of domestic violence that can not be proven are dropped down to a minor assualt or a lovers quarrel in which one or both participant are ordered to take anger management classes.

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LeGarrette Blount is the starting running back for the Oregon State football team. Instead of hitting the holes to a win over Boise State during their season opener, Blount hits Byron Hout a Boise state player hard on the chin.

After the 19-8 loss by Oregon State, LeGarrette Blount is seen punching Hout after Hout appers to taunt him.

Reports state Blount has had problems in the past managing his anger and was forced off the practice filed by his coach earlier this year.

Football is a rough sport and emotions can get out of control but violence agaisnt another is never acceptable in life or on the field.

If the Oregon State coaches have any real concern for Blount as a person they will suspend him for the rest of the season. A slap on the wrist will only serve as a message that violence agaisnt another is permissable as long as he can carry an average of 75-100 yards a game.

If Oregon State is more concerned about wins and losses they may keep Blount on the team but after a loss to Boise I’m not sure that would help anyway.

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Anger is a secondary emotion. The fear and stress of loosing property or life can trigger episodes of aggression and rage.

All those affected by the devastation of the Station Fire can be at risk of doing or saying something out of their normal character due to the extraordinary pressure caused by this disaster.

Daybreak Counseling Service an anger management center in Pasadena, California is offering 3 free sessions of anger management for residents affected by the Station Fire. This is a service valued at $150.

If you need to manage your anger regarding the Station Fire and you live in the following cities: Tujunga, Acton, Altadena, Pasadena, Sierra Madre, Sunland, La Canada, Flintridge, or La-Crescenta. Please contact the offices of Daybreak Counseling Service at 310-995-1202.

All interested in attending these 3 free anger management classes must provide a valid identification proving you live with the fore mentioned cities.

This courtesy is offered for the entire month of September. A special class has been added Tuesday evenings at 6pm until 7pm.

Daybreak Counseling Service is located at 183 N. Hill St. #202, Pasadena California

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