Change

By Susan Levy

The thing that people hate and fear the most is “change”.
Many of us remain in unfulfilling jobs, abusive relationships, friendships that no longer work or personal unhealthy behaviors because the fear of the unknown is so great. We are willing to live with unacceptable, sometimes painful, choices. We choose misery over change.
I was fortunate enough to learn that if I am making a change fear will be my companion. It’s natural and inevitable. Knowing that fear is unavoidable during change allows me to act in spite of my fear.

Many think that courage is a lack of fear. The truth is that courage is being able to take action in spite of the fear.
Most very accomplished and happy people will tell you they made changes in their life while terrified. Walking away from a painful marriage, starting college, stopping your “people pleasing” and saying no when you mean no. These are all uncomfortable and awkward. I have learned that if a change is fearsome, awkward or painful, I need to take action anyway because it is my best interest and might just be happier.

Stages of Change

• Precontemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation
• Maintenance
• Action

Precontemplation
Has no intention to take action within the next 6 months

Contemplation
Intends to take action within the next 6 months.

Preparation
Intends to take action within the next 30 days and has taken some behavioral steps in this direction.

Action
Has changed overt behavior for less than 6 months

Maintenance
Has changed overt behavior for more than 6 months.

Termination
Overt behavior will never return, and there is complete confidence that
you can cope without fear of relapse.

Susan Levy is a popular instructor at the Santa Monica offices of Daybreak Counseling Service.

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