Archive for April, 2009

Control your Anger

Saturday, April 25th, 2009
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How do you respond when you feel angry? Do you “blow up” and lose control, or are you able to maintain a calm and patient demeanor in provoking situations?

Sadly, many believers fail to manage their resentment in a positive fashion. But there are steps you can take to avoid the devastating consequences I mentioned yesterday.

First of all, admit that you have an anger problem. You may be irritated with yourself, someone else, or even God. But you’ll never overcome this negative emotion until you own up to its presence in your life.

Next, identify the source of your hard feelings. Ask yourself, Why am I reacting like this? With whom am I upset? What’s causing me to behave this way? Once you’ve figured out where your annoyance comes from, deal with it quickly—when bitterness is allowed to build up, we become prime targets for the Enemy.

By Pastor Charles Stanely

Paul’s advice is wise: “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).

Finally, we need to forgive whoever is the source of our hurt. When we feel injured, that may seem too difficult, but it is the most important aspect of dealing with anger. How can we fail to pardon someone else when our heavenly Father forgave us by offering His Son as a sacrifice?

Anger doesn’t have to control your life. If you’re a believer, the Holy Spirit empowers you to walk in a Christlike manner. As you prepare for the week ahead, ask the Lord to pinpoint your areas of unresolved hostility. Trust Him to guide as you seek to take control of this emotion.

Daybreak Counseling Service
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SEO for Therapists and Life Coaches- How I got to the top

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
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top of the mountain

• I GOT A WEBSITE. IF I COULD DO ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE MY WEBSITE HAD MY “KEYWORDS” IN THE TITLE.

• WHAT ARE KEYWORDS OR KEY PHRASES? KEYWORDS ARE WHAT THE SEARCH ENGINES ARE LOOKING FOR TO CATERGORIZE YOUR SITE. MY PRIMARY KEY WORD/PHRASE IS “ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES”

• WHAT IS A SEARCH ENGINE? A SEARCH ENGINE IS A PORTAL IN WHICH A USER INPUTS KETWORDS TO FIND A PRODUCT, SERVICE OR INFORMAITON. THE MOST POPULAR SEARCH ENGEINES ARE GOOGLE, YAHOO, AND MSN.

• ARE ALL SEARCH ENGINES CREATED EQUAL? NO. GOOGLE IS BY FAR NUMBER 1. OPTIMIZING YOUR SITE FOR GOOGLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE OPTIMIZING YOUR SITE FOR THE OTHER TWO MAJOR SEARCH ENGINES.

• THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID AFTER GETTING A WEBSITE WAS TO START USING SPONSERED PAID SEARCH. IT TOOK ME 2-3 YEARS TO GET FROM PAGE 8 OR 9 TO PAGE ONE OF GOOGLE. IF I DID NOT USE PAID SEARCH TO NARROW THE GAP.MY BUISNESS WOULD HAVE SUNK BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP.

• THE THIRD MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID WAS WATCH MY COMPETITORS. I FOUND WHO WAS AT NUMBER ONE FOR MY DESIRED KEYWORDS. THEN I GOOGLED THEIR URL AND FOUND OUT EVERYWHERE THEIR SITE WAS LISTED.

• THE FOURTH MOST IMPORTANT THING I DID WAS TO ADD CONTENT TO MY PAGE. MY HOME PAGE HAS A LOT OF CONTENT ON IT. IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE CLEANEST PAGE OUT THERE. REMEMBER THE INTERNET SPIDERS JUDGE YOUR SITE BY THE TYPE AND NUMBER OF WORDS AND PHRASES ON IT. THE MORE INFORMATION I HAD ABOUT “ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES” THE MORE I MOVED UP IN THE SEARCH ENGINES.

• I ADDED A BLOG. THE NUMBER ONE RULE IN SEO IS “CONTENT IS KING” A BLOG GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADD KEYWORDS AND KEY PHRASE UNIQUE TO YOUR INDUSTRY. I MADE ATTEMPTS TO WRITE A BLOG POST AT LEAST EVERY OTHER DAY. YOUR POSTS SHOULD BE AS UNIQUE AS POSSIBLE. STEALING ARTICLES FROM OTHER SITES MAY HELP BUT INTERNET SPIDERS LIKE NEW CONTENT. WHEN WRITING I ALWAYS KEPT IN MIND THAT I WANTED TO INFORM THE WORLD. NOT ONLY POTENTIAL CLIENTS.

• I ADDED A RESOURCE PAGE. IN THE SPIRIT OF PROVIDING INFORMATION TO MY READERS A RESOURCE PAGE ALLOWS YOU TO ADD LINKS TO OTHER SITES. LINKING TO OTHER SITE HELPS YOUR PAGE RANK MODERATELY. BUT BEING LINKED ON SOMEONE ELSES SITE CAN GREATLY HELP. LINK SHARING IS A POPULAR WAY TO SOAR IN THE SEARCH ENGINES.

• I ASKED POPULAR SITES AND BLOGS TO ADD MY URL. IF YOU ARE LINKED TO A POPULAR SITE (ESPECIALLY IF IT IS RELATED TO YOUR BUISNESS) YOUR ARE GOING TO RISE WITH THE TIDE. A POPULAR SITE HAS A PAGE RANK (PR) OF 1-3. IF INTERESTED I WILL LINK WITH YOU.

• I ADJUSTED MY METATAGS. METATAGS ARE FOUND ON THE BACK END OF YOUR SITE. THEY ARE HTML CODES USUALLY CALLED TITLE TAGS OR KEYWORD TAGS. YOUR META TAGS SHOULD MATCH THE KEYWORDS YOU THINK SEARCHERS ARE USING.

• I SUBMITTED MY SITE URL TO THE MAJOR SEARCH ENGINES.

• I TRY TO COMMENT ON THE BLOGS OF OTHER PEOPLE IN MY INDUSTRY OFTEN (ALWAYS SIGNING MY COMMENTS WITH MY BUSINESS NAME AND URL) COMMENTING ON BLOGS IS A GOOD WAY TO MEET PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY AND GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE. MAKE SURE YOUR COMMENTS ARE RELATIVE TO THE DISCUSSION AND DON’T GO OVER BOARD. IF YOU DO THIS IS CONSIDERED SPAMMING.

• I CREATED PRESS RELEASES. I MAKE IT A HABIT TO TRY AND PUT OUT A PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MY BUSINESS AT LEAST ONCE A QUARTER. PRESS RELEASES ARE A GOOD WAY TO RISE TO THE TOP OF THE YAHOO SEARCH ENGINE.

• I SUBMITTED ARTICLES ON MY SUBJECT. YOU CAN FIND SEVERAL ARTICE SUBMIT SITES AND WRITE ARTICLES. ALWAYS SIGN END WITH YOUR BUISNESS NAME, PHONE NUMBER, AND URL.

• I READ BOOKS ON MARKETING. THERE IS A LOT OF GOOD STUFF OUT THERE ABOUT MARKETING IN GENERAL. ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS IS SETH GODIN. HE HAS A BLOG.

• I READ EVERYTHING I COULD ON SEO (SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION) ONE OF MY FAVORITE WEBSITES IS SEOCHAT.COM

• I KEEP UP WITH WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE INDUSTRY BY USING GOOLGE ALERTS. GOOGLE ALERTS IS A FREE SERVICE FROM GOOGLE. WHENEVER SOMEONE WRITES A BLOG OR ARTICLE CONTAINING YOUR “KEYWORDS” THEY WILL SEND YOU A LINK TO YOUR EMAIL.

• I UTILIZE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE (MYSPACE, FACEBOOK, LINKEDIN, TWITTER, FRIENDSTER ETC)

• I CREATED 3-4 ALTERNATE BLOGS.

• I ADVERTISE ON CRAIGSLIST, L.A. BACKPAGE AND TOPIX.NET

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.A.
www.daybreakservices.com
twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Anger Management Excellence

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
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On a separate note, I would like to offer my strongest approval and compliments to Maria Vega, your instructor in Van Nuys. Simply put, she is outstanding and a true asset to your organization. I have benefitted greatly from her classes and will probably continue on after completing my 15 classes. I have already done more than I am required simply because she is the instructor.

Regards,

Marc

Change

Friday, April 17th, 2009
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By Susan Levy

The thing that people hate and fear the most is “change”.
Many of us remain in unfulfilling jobs, abusive relationships, friendships that no longer work or personal unhealthy behaviors because the fear of the unknown is so great. We are willing to live with unacceptable, sometimes painful, choices. We choose misery over change.
I was fortunate enough to learn that if I am making a change fear will be my companion. It’s natural and inevitable. Knowing that fear is unavoidable during change allows me to act in spite of my fear.

Many think that courage is a lack of fear. The truth is that courage is being able to take action in spite of the fear.
Most very accomplished and happy people will tell you they made changes in their life while terrified. Walking away from a painful marriage, starting college, stopping your “people pleasing” and saying no when you mean no. These are all uncomfortable and awkward. I have learned that if a change is fearsome, awkward or painful, I need to take action anyway because it is my best interest and might just be happier.

Stages of Change

• Precontemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation
• Maintenance
• Action

Precontemplation
Has no intention to take action within the next 6 months

Contemplation
Intends to take action within the next 6 months.

Preparation
Intends to take action within the next 30 days and has taken some behavioral steps in this direction.

Action
Has changed overt behavior for less than 6 months

Maintenance
Has changed overt behavior for more than 6 months.

Termination
Overt behavior will never return, and there is complete confidence that
you can cope without fear of relapse.

Susan Levy is a popular instructor at the Santa Monica offices of Daybreak Counseling Service.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
www.twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com. Search for Daybreak Counseling Service and become a fan.

Anger Management School producing its 3rd animated short film

Friday, April 10th, 2009
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Daybreak Counseling Service an anger management education center in Los Angeles continues to take adult learning to a new level. The anger management agency is now in production for its 3rd animated short film. The third video in the series entitled “Stories from the world of anger management is penned “Keepin’ up with the Jones’”

“Keeping up with the Jones’” revolves around Mohammed a imigrant of Indian decent. Mohammed is full of ambition and has a key eye on the American dream. Unfortanately his tunnel vision causes him to loose site of what he loves the most, his family.

Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak narrates the story. The visual effects convey the hope, stress and anger involved in making it in America.

The video is scheduled to be released near the end of May 2009.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com. Search for Daybreak Counseling Service and become a fan.

Sports Psychology – Anger Management and Young Athletes

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
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angry child

Many parents of young athletes are quite worried and concerned because their kids are getting frustrated and losing their tempers on the basketball court, the tennis court, the baseball field, the football field, the golf course, the soccer field or the hockey rink.

Outward displays of severe anger or frustration are damaging to the children who are engaging in these acts and they can be quite disruptive to teams, coaches, parents, spectators and to sports in general. The media have reported some alarming examples of kids, parents and coaches losing their tempers.

Before we determine what kinds of help is required, I usually ask the following kinds of questions:

1. Does your child act out in other environments like school or home or are his or tantrums occurring in the sports environment?
2. Has your child been exposed to any kind of violence or loss of temper in the home or within the family?
3. What have you done to control your child’s behavior?
4. What seems to work and what has failed? Why?
5. Is there a history of depression, drug use or alcohol use in your family?
6. Do your other children have anger issues?
7. Many anger outbursts are preceded by frustration. If so, what is frustrating or bothering your child?
8. Is he or she overwhelmed with the pressure of sports and school?
9. Is your youngster feeling too much pressure from a coach or parent?
10. Is your child suffering from burn out?

The solutions to this problem can include anger management training, counseling, a change in the approach to sports, counseling to improve sports performance, team-building if the problem is related to personality conflicts with teammates, meetings with coaches and intervening with the child to prevent further outbursts. Also, angry outbursts can be a sign of underlying sadness, rage or depression. Do not hesitate to get professional help if you and your child are struggling with these kinds of dangerous emotions.

Jay P. Granat, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and the founder of http://www.stayinthezone.com He has written several books and developed several programs to help people perform to their fullest potential at sports, at work and at school. Dr. Granat, a former university professor, has appeared in The New York Times, Good Morning America, AP, ESPN, Golf Digest, The BBC and The CBC. He can be reached at info@stayinthezone.com His books include Zone Tennis and Get Into The Zone In Just One Minute. He is also the author of How To Get Into The Zone With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, How To Lower Your Golf Score With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, 101 Ways To Break Out Of A Hitting Slump and Bed Time Stories For Young Athletes. Golf Digest named Dr. Granat one of America’s Top Ten Mental Gurus. He was recently featured in a documentary film on long distance running. Dr. Granat writes a weekly column for three newspapers.

Anger Management vs. Domestic Violence

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
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At least once a week I find myself in a conversation with someone in need of a Domestic Violence class. They are anxious to sign with our agency in an effort to satisfy there court conditions. In each occassion I have to turn them away and direct them back to the court or their local probation department. But before I do I break down the difference between Anger Management Classes and Domestic Violence Classes. I decided to make my explanation immortal by blogging it.

Certification

Domestic Violence Programs are monitored by the State or local Probation Department

Anger Management Classes have no governing body and are not monitored.

Type of client served

Domestic Violence Programs serve court ordered offenders who have physically assaulted an intimate partner.

Anger Management Classes serve employees, couples, teenagers, buisness owners who are struggling with stress as well as verbal and physical aggression.

Length of Program

Domestic Violence Programs are 52 weeks, once a week with exception.

Anger Management Classes can run anywhere between 10 weeks to 52 weeks. Some anger managment courses offer accelerated multi hour classes.

Who teaches the class?

Domestic Violence instructor must be certified. They must take yearly re-certifications.

Anger Management Classes can be taught by anyone. Some instructor have PhD’s and some lack high school diplomas. There is no nationwide standard.

Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
twitter.com/angryinla
www.youtube.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Visit www.facebook.com. Search for Daybreak Counseling Service and become a fan.

Why Do people swear

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
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cursing

Why do people swear? Why does using a swear word make us feel better? How do we choose which word we use?

Luckily for you, the Association of Psychological Science’s Perspectives on Psychological Science just published an article that answers these important scientific questions in an article by Timothy Jay (2009). If swear words hurt your eyes, you may want to stop reading now.

Jay notes that swear words (or taboo words, as he calls them) can include sexual references (fuck), those that are profane or blasphemous (goddamn), scatological or disgusting objects (shit), animal names (pig, ass), ethnic/racial/gender slurs (fag), ancestral allusions (bastard), substandard vulgar terms and offensive slang. Taboo words can be mildly offensive to extremely offensive, and people will often use a more mild euphemism to replace a swear word when in mixed (or unknown) company.

How do we choose what word to use and when? We make choices about which word to use depending upon the company we’re in, and what our relationship is to that company, as well as the social setting. We’re more apt to use less offensive terms in mixed company or in settings where more offensive swear words might result in recrimination (such as work). For instance, people are more comfortable and are more likely to use technical terms for sexual references in mixed crowds, and to reserve the taboo words for same sex crowds or with their sexual partner. Most people feel uncomfortable saying, “Fuck” in a business or public crowd, instead falling back on less offensive words like, “Damnit.”

As Jay notes, “Swearing is like using the horn on your car, which can be used to signify a number of emotions (e.g., anger, frustration, joy, surprise).”

Taboo words can be used for a variety of reasons, including to achieve a specific reaction from others. Swearing injects a direct, succinct emotional component into the discussion, usually in order to express frustration, anger or surprise (up to two-thirds of our swearing is for just such expressions). These insulting swears can be name calling or wishing someone harm, so it’s no wonder they are often a defining feature of hate speech, verbal abuse, sexual harassment and obscene phone calls.

Swearing is beneficial in ways that people may underestimate or take for granted. Swearing is often cathartic — it often frees us of the feelings of anger or frustration we hold and allows expression for them. It can also be a useful substitute to physical violence (who would rather be punched out than to withstand being sworn at?).

Swear words can also be used in a more positive manner, in the form of jokes and humor, sex talk, storytelling, self-deprecation or even social commentary. Imagine when you want to emphasize how great you feel something is, a swear words emphasizes the positive feelings you have for that object, situation, person or event (”This concert is fucking awesome!”). Sure, we could just say “This concert is awesome,” but the addition of the swear word emphasizes the emotional reaction we have toward it — and easily conveys that emotional reaction to others.

Virtually all people swear, and people swear pretty consistently throughout their lifetime — from the moment they can speak to the day they die. Swearing is almost a universal constant in most people’s lives. Research, according to Jay, has shown we swear on average from 0.3% to 0.7% of the time — a tiny but significant percentage of our overall speech (frequently-used personal pronouns occur at approximately 1.0% rate in speech). Swearing is more common than you might think. But personality research suggests that people who swear more, not surprisingly, score higher on traits such as extraversion, dominance, hostility and Type A personalities. Swearing is not just for the uneducated or people of a lower socioeconomic class — it knows no social boundaries in its expression.

Swearing is a natural part of human speech development. We learn which words are taboo and which words are not through our normal childhood development. We also learn that not all swear words are equal, as Jay notes — “Fuck you! represents a greater level of anger than crap!” We then learn that we may be able to say a swear word in one social context, but not another.

Jay’s article was a bit of an eye-opener for me as well, as I didn’t know that swearing was really as commonplace as he notes, and I never much considered the beneficial effects of swearing. Jay calls on more psychological research to be done on this topic, and after reading his article, I’d have to agree.

Reference:

Jay, T. (2009). The utility and ubiquity of taboo words. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 4(2), 153-161.

Dr. John Grohol is the CEO and founder of Psych Central and has been writing about mental health and psychology issues online since 1992.

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