Angry in L.A.
Los Angeles through the eyes of an Anger Management Teacher
Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service works with Dave from MTV- Real World Hollywood. Dave is resistant until Shannon compares managing anger to defensive moves within martial arts.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
Shannon Munford an anger management coach explores responses to anger with one of the residents at MTV Real World Hollywod. The student discusses how he uses humor to diffuse potentially aggressive situations.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
Assertive Communication is a key ingredient when learning to manage anger. Below are a few tips on learning how communication assertively throuhg body language.
EYE CONTACT – Make sure the person is more interesting than what is on the floor. Look at the person most of the time. But, do not stare at people 100 percent of the time.
DISTANCE/PHYSICAL CONTACT – If you smell or feel the other person’s breath, you are probably too close. Keep a comfortable distance.
GESTURES – Use hand gestures to add to what you are saying, but remember that you are not conducting an orchestra.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS – Your face should match your emotion and what you are saying. Don’t laugh when you are upset and don’t have a frown when you are happy. A relaxed, pleasant face is best when you are happy. A relaxed, serious face is best when you are upset.
VOICE TONE, INFLECTION, VOLUME – When you are making an assertive message, you want to be heard. In order to be heard you have to pay attention to the tone of your voice (happy, whiny, upset), the inflection of your voice (emphasis on syllables), and volume of your voice (whisper to yell).
TIMING – When you are expressing negative feelings or making a request of someone, this is especially important. Seven days later may be too long. Doing it right on the spot in front of people may not be the right time to do it. Do it as soon as there is a time for both parties to resolve their issues alone.
LISTENING – An important part of assertiveness. If you are making statements that express your feelings without infringing on the rights of others, you need to give the other person a chance to respond.
CONTENT – What a person says is one of the most important parts of the assertive message. Depending on what a person is trying to accomplish, the content is going to be different.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
After weeks of strained relationships, built up tension, alcohol consumption and property damage. MTV executives at the Real World-Hollywood contact Shannon Munford the owner of Daybreak Counseling Service to provide a one on one anger management course for Dave Sky, Real World boy next door.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
Anger is a natural emotion, but is very often difficult to handle. Some people think that they “shouldn’t” get angry and feel guilty when they do. Others feel entitled to lash out with no regard for others or the consequences of their behavior. Fewer are able to express anger in a healthy and effective manner which does no harm to self or others.
There are some that are not even aware that they are angry. Either they have been angry so long that they don’t recognize it or they are out of touch with their feelings.
It is reasonable to assume that we are all angry to some extent because of the dismal condition of our country. Prices have become so high that many of us have to struggle every day just to survive.
It is important to become aware of our anger either through therapy or a anger management class. If we don’t express it in a healthy way, we will often turn it against ourselves.
Not So Healthy Things to Do with Your Anger:
• over eat / binge / bulimia / anorexia
• compulsive exercise or pushing your body to fatigue
• drinking and drugging
• cutting or self-mutilation
• sexual escape
• withdrawal into silence or silent treatment of others
• calm on the outside, steaming inside
• ignore or deny the problem (anger will stay and grow larger)
• avoid confrontation
• abusive lashing out at others with angry or hateful words
• physical aggression, throwing things at another person
• internalize anger and frustration
• dwell on intrusive negative thoughts
• hypercritical self-thoughts
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
A North Carolina school teacher resigns after being taped assualting a student. Wade Shcaible was video taped on a cell phone shoving and grappling with a male student. The teacher is described as having a confrontational style.
Teachers throughout the country teachers are faced with excessive stressors inculding, poor pay, crowded class rooms, unruly students and performance pressure. Such stressors can cause anger management issues. Many teachers would benefit from an anger managment course. In fact certifying boards may want to consider requiring anger management classes for liberal arts students and those receiving their teaching credentials.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
By Ari Novick, Ph.D.
(1) Take time off – Take a vacation or a long weekend. During the work day, take a short break to stretch. Walk, breathe slowly, and take a day off and go to the beach, and relax.
(2) Manage your time – Set realistic goals and deadlines. Plan projects accordingly. Do “must do” tasks first. Schedule difficult tasks for the time of day when you are most productive. Tackle easy tasks when you feel low on energy or motivation.
(3) Set limits – When necessary, learn to say “no” in a friendly, but firm manner.
(4) Choose your battles wisely – Don’t rush to argue every time someone disagrees with you. Keep a cool head and avoid pointless arguments altogether.
(5) Use calming skills – Learn not to act on your first impulse. Give your anger time to subside. Anger needs to be expressed, but it is often wise to do something that takes your mind off the situation. The break allows you to compose yourself and respond to the anger in a more effective manner.
(6) If appropriate, look for less stressful job options – But first, ask yourself whether you have given your job a fair chance.
(7) Take control of what you can – For example, if you’re working too many hours and you can’t study enough, ask your boss if you can cut back.
Don’t commit yourself to things you can’t or don’t want to do- – If you’re already too busy, don’t promise to decorate for the school dance. If you’re tired and don’t want to go out, tell your friends you’ll go.
Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology. His corporate website is www.ajnovickgroup.com and his innovative online anger management class is available at www.angerclassonline.com
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
By Susan Levy
Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So, he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the sand, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied ”Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is out. And, if I don’t throw them in, they’ll die. “But young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then he bent down. Picked another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said “It made a difference for that one.”
I read this many years ago and never forgot it. When I think of it and replace the starfish with a fellow human being, it speaks to me of kindness and empathy. It reminds me that I can make a difference in this world if I choose to.
If I can “get out of myself”, I am able to see more than my own limited perspective of any situation. I found this to be immeasurably useful in managing my anger.
If I am cut off by another driver, bumped into by a fellow shopper or snapped at by a coworker, I can pause and consider. Perhaps that person just lost a loved one. Could they be going through a painful divorce? Did they just lose their job? It definitely helps me to control the use of my anger when I pause to consider the other person’s point of view (empathize). It only takes a moment and can save a moment, a relationship or a life.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
The following video featuring Bill Moyer speaks about how anger may be perceived differently depending on who the anger is coming from. Mr. Moyer speaks about how anger is preached in American churhces both white and black and how Americans respond to those messages. He compares the anger of prominent white pastors to those of the former pastor of Barack Obama, Jerimiah Wright.
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/angryinla
http://myspace.com/angermanagementeacher
310-995-1202
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