Anger Management and your Emotions: Part 3-Pain and Resentment
Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.
~Neil Kinnock
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
~William H. Walton
In my experience, I have come to believe that physical and emotional pains are the most common precursors to anger and aggression. Pain has a way of adhering itself to our conscious like no other emotion. Have you ever noticed how clearly you can remember the pain of broken relationship or the strike of flame burning against the skin? We often forget the joys of life. We forget our accomplishments and victories, but failures and disappointments cling to our thoughts like a vice. We often carry hurt and suffering from our childhood into adulthood and as we grow older, it bitters our hearts and sometimes our minds.
(We will discuss how anger can affect your mental health in the chapter entitled Anger and the Asylum).
As mentioned before, our pain can become so unbearable that we slowly begin to mask it with irritability, aggression and then rage.
We can all empathize with a loved one who is suffering from a cold, flu or some serious malady. We expect them to be irritable, because they need a little extra tender loving care. Fortunately, the duration of physical pain is limited. Even in the extreme case of torture, victims have expressed the assurance and hope that, “this to shall pass.” It is our emotional wounds that seem to persist.
