Dealing with Stress-Part 3: Accept it, Cope with it or change it.

There are some stressors in life that we just have to accept. No matter how gifted, determined and resourceful you are, one day you will come in contact with an event you have little or no control over. Death, sickness, the weather and natural disasters are events beyond our control. In fact, attempts to control the uncontrollable can lead to frustration and even more stress.

Understand that stressful situations will arise. Try to accept the fact that things don’t always work the way we expect them to. This is the reality of life. When a situation cannot be controlled or influenced, your best response may be to brace yourself and ride through the storm.

The following are excerpts from tragic stories told by survivors of war and natural disasters. They speak of the power of the human spirit in the face of life threatening stressors and true adversity.

Dec 6th 2004- Tsunami triggered in Indian Ocean
A six-year-old Taiwanese girl, who survived the killer tsunami while holidaying in Thailand, has arrived home on Thursday. The little girl and her mother had been on the beach when massive waves swept them off their feet. Chia-ni was flung onto a coconut tree and clung on to it for more than 20 hours before she was rescued. Chia-ni managed to recount her ordeal to reporters. “I remembered I felt like vomiting,” she said. Reporter asked: “Right after the tsunami hit?” “But I couldn’t. The waves were too big,” she said. Miraculously, she suffered only several bruises on her hands and legs and a cut on her forehead. Chia-ni said: “It still hurts.” Two others, including Chia-ni’s mother, are still missing.

Aug 29th 2005-Aftermath of Hurricane Katrina
A 2-year-old girl slept in a pool of urine. Crack vials littered a restroom. Blood stained the walls next to vending machines smashed by teenagers. ‘We pee on the floor. We are like animals,’ said Taffany Smith, 25, as she cradled her 3-week-old son, Terry. … By Wednesday, it had degenerated into horror. … At least two people, including a child, have been raped. At least three people have died, including one man who jumped 50 feet to his death, saying he had nothing left to live for. There is no sanitation. The stench is overwhelming.

June 19th 2004-War in Iraq
I was injured on the 19th of June, 2004. I was on a routine patrol mission, a mounted unit. We were in a Hummvie and I was in the first vehicle in the convoy and we came around the corner and got ambushed. Small arms fire and RPG’s came through the front of the vehicle and took off my arm at the shoulder. The arm didn’t initially come off completely. But it was very damaged and ended up getting infected. The arm was literally infecting the rest of my body and slowly killing me. So the choice was fairly easy for my parents when they had to make it. They had to take the arm to save my life. I don’t know if you ever really get over it. It is something that is going to be with me the rest of my life. I definitely think I’ve moved on but it takes a lot of time. It’s a life adjustment. I think that people are more aware of the fact that women are in combat because they see the results of it. And they are seeing the casualties.

Every one of these individuals had to find a way to cope with destructive trauma. Unlike a natural disaster or war there are numerous stressors in life that you have the power to change. In many instances you have choices. You have a choice to limit your contact with people who cause you stress. These people may include family, friends or even your mate. You also have the choice to quit a stressful job that causes other areas of your life to suffer? Only you can rate the importance of a relationship or an occupation that negatively affects your physical and mental health.

If you find yourself in the middle of a crisis in your, life there are several things you can do to minimize the effects of stress on your body and mind:

Get regular exercise, a physically fit body is better able to withstand the effects of stress.

Get in touch with your spiritual side; Prayer, meditation and religious activities have a calming effect on many people.

The best way to help those around you is to make sure you are in a position to help. Make a point to always set aside some “you” time. Do things you enjoy doing such as going to the beach, reading a book, drawing a hot bath, or enjoy good music. You are “no good” to your family, your employer or anyone else when you are stressed out.