Great anger is more destructive than the sword.– Tamil
proverb
Gerald had rich dark chocolate skin, about the
color of a Hershey bar. His hair was jet black, short
and curly. Gerald grew up in a government housing
project, not far from one of Los Angeles’ beach
communities. His mother, Regina was Mexican- American.
She had long black hair with caramel skin. Regina lived
in the same neighborhood all her life. That’s where she
met Gerald’s Dad. She was sixteen when she got pregnant
and Gerald’s Dad began serving a life sentence only a
few years after that. At 32, Regina retained her urban
beauty. She was petite and feminine. In her earlier
years, one could imagine her being the object of desire
for many men, but now she looked tired. She looked
spiritually weak. After three children and string of
draining relationships, romance and the opposite sex was
the last thing on her mind.
Gerald was 15. He was placed on probation for
possessing a handgun. He swore that he had no gang
affiliation. His story was that he carried it for
protection. When I met Gerald, he was stoic and
obviously resistant to any counseling. Despite the
threat of incarceration, Gerald challenged his court
conditions and the
Probation Department by breaking curfew and ditching
school. He only agreed to comply with his
anger management course
order to appease his mother.
After several years of counseling violent, angry and
self - destructive youth, I get a sense of the young
people who may have a measure of redeemable essence
inside them. Gerald had very little if any. Nevertheless
my savior complex kicked in and I convinced myself he
could be rescued.
At every session, Gerald would search for the
furthest corner of the room and isolate himself from me
and the other students in the class. He did not smile
and avoided participating in class discussion. When
called upon he would respond with icy one- word answers.
It became obvious to me that his participation was an
exercise in “playing the game”. This means doing the
minimum in an effort to avoid a probation violation. I
pressed on and hoped something would seep in on
accident.
As the weeks passed, Gerald’s attendance began to
drop. His mother desperately tried to cover for him, but
eventually I had to dismiss him from the class and
report his behavior to the court. I never saw Gerald
again but months later I received a call from his
mother, Regina.
She sounded frantic on the phone, “Mr. Munford this
is Regina, Gerald’s Mom do you remember me?” “Of course
I do”, I responded, “how is Gerald?” “Not too good she
stated” I could hear in her voice she was beginning to
tear up. “What happened?” I asked. “Gerald is in
juvenile hall. He was arrested for attempted murder. I
was wondering if, if there is anything you could do to
help? “They want to try him as an adult.”
I paused and thought about a documentary film I had
seen about 100 times. I make it a point to show it to
all my adolescent students. Gerald saw it too. The film
is called
Juvies and it documents
the lives of several youth in Los Angeles County
Juvenile Hall. All the youth in the film are facing
lengthy and sometimes life sentences in adult prison. As
convicted felons, many of them would be forced to serve
decades in adult prisons. Some of the youth are as young
as 14 –years- old and are at risk of physical and sexual
assault at the hands of adult murderers and child
molesters. Suicide is often common way out for these
young offenders. I came back to myself and asked Regina,
“What do you need?” The best I could do was to write a
letter detailing Gerald’s participation in my class that
which was not much.
I made attempts to find out whatever happened to
Gerald but his mother never responded to my inquiries.
Fits of anger, violent outbursts, and physical
aggression affect far more people than the individual
out of control. Gerald’s actions will not only affect
him and his mother but will send damaging shockwaves
through the minds of his younger sister and brother. One
act of violence can have a negative effect on several
future generations.
www.daybreakservices.com
Shannon Munford
Daybreak Counseling Service
