Speak when you are angry and you will make the best
speech you will ever regret.
–Ambrose Bierce
At the time I am writing this post,
the average
anger management class is going to cost you between
$600 and $2500. In addition to court fees most courts
will order 12-52 weeks of
anger management. This adds up to hours of sitting
in class, time away from your family, time away from
your job - as you may know time is money.
You may be saying to yourself, “Well my anger has not
caused me any problems with the court or the police.” My
response to you is “not yet.”
Denise was born and raised in Italy. She and her
family moved to the United States when she was thirteen.
She found adjustment to her new California lifestyle
challenging. Denise felt as if she just did not fit in.
Part of her difficulty was due to her slow absorption of
the English language. During her high school years, she
developed the habit of not expressing herself. She felt
that if she voiced her opinions or her thoughts she
would either be ridiculed or considered unintelligent
because of her broken English. For years she kept her
thoughts and emotions inside.
Now at twenty-one Denise spoke fluent English with
little to no accent. She was a petite girl, 5’2 and no
more than 105 pounds. She had long brown hair that she
pulled into a ponytail. Tanned and toned, she entered my
office in a fitted Jennifer Lopez sweat-suit. She had
obviously assimilated to the L.A. culture. Although
beautiful she still retained a quiet rural innocence.
Denise was a student at a local college when she
found herself in a disagreeable and eventually costly
position. If you have ever attended a major college you
can understand how difficult and frustrating it is to
find a parking space. Imagine that you’re late for
class, and your building is halfway across the campus.
Well the parking Gods smiled on Denise that day. As she
pulled into the parking lot she slipped into a cozy
outlined space waiting for her. With some time to spare,
Denise applied her lip-gloss. She was using her rearview
mirror when she noticed a meter maid joyfully detailing
cars with parking tickets. As she watched for a while
she noticed a trend. The meter maid only appeared to
ticket students of races and nationalities not kin to
her own. She felt confused and a little angry, but who
was she to get involved, it was none of her business.
Denise sucked it in and went to class.
The next day she witnessed the same thing. The exact
same meter made appeared to be targeting and ticketing
every student expect the ones of her own race. This time
Denise was enraged. Why this is America! How could
someone be allowed to continue such a discriminating
act? She decided to speak her mind. Fuelled with the
passion of injustice, Denise approached the meter maid.
She explained how the meter maid’s actions were a
violation of the student’s civic rights. She appealed to
her since of equality. After all the meter maid was an
African-American female. She could certainly relate to
the sting of prejudice. Denise thought to herself,
“Doesn’t she know about the women’s suffrage movement,
the struggle of Dr. King and the NAACP?” Obviously, the
meter maid did not know of Dr. King’s the struggle or
did not care, because she promptly called campus police
and had Denise arrested for obstructing the duties of a
public officer.
Denise made bail at the price of $5000. She retained
a lawyer at $250 an hour and was granted probation by
the court, which charged her $290 in court fees. She is
currently serving a three- year probation sentence and
pays $100 a month to the probation department. By the
time Denise completes her probation she would have made
several trips to the ATM and paid close to $13,000 or
more.
Believe it or not, the financial loss is the least
destructive consequence of anger. In fact when we speak
of “person centered aggression”, it is the cost to the
victim that supersedes any financial loss. Let us take a
look at how anger can destroy the lives of others around
you.
Shannon Munford
Daybreak Counseling Service
www.daybreakservices.com
