Anger Management Success Stories
As an anger management teacher for Daybreak Counseling Services I have seen a tremendous amount of client success stories. Many people seek an anger management course because they have experienced some challenges in their personal or work relationships with the way they express their anger and frustration. The reality is that everyone gets frustrated, and at times angry. Anger is a healthy and normal human emotion. Although anger is a secondary emotion, it generally occurs because we are feeling something else first like hurt, fear, sadness or disrespect and then anger comes to protect us…or so we think. Anger is a sign that something is wrong and something must be done but the problem lies in how and what we do with that anger. As adults we must own the emotion of anger and not to be taken out on others. We are responsible for handling our emotions in a healthy way. This can be the tricky for many because we have learned how to handle our anger through watching others deal with their anger in our childhood. Sometimes these experiences have been healthy examples of anger management but often times they have not. Anger management classes are a great tool to learn to “rewire” our response to anger.
Through anger management counseling one of my clients who had been court referred had a huge breakthrough. This older Korean gentleman was very clear about his feelings that he did not need anger management and was quite resentful of the 52 classes the judge had ordered him to take. He often came to class and sat in the back of the room and seemed completely disconnected from what was being discussed. After attending a few weeks, he began to listen to the stories that others shared in the group and learn from the tools that the teacher would give the group. On his 32nd class, for the first time he decided to share a success with the group. He began to describe a recent experience he had with one of his real estate clients who would continually go back and forth on her offer on a property. The client went on to explain that in the past this would have frustrated him to the point where he would not hold back from screaming at this woman and calling her all the names he could conjure up. This time he decided to do something different, he used several tools he had learned through his anger management therapy to calmly explain his frustration with her and set boundaries for their working relationship. He also used empathy and changed his expectations of the situation with this client and through the use of all these tools they calmly and respectfully ended their working relationship. The gentleman didn’t think much about it until a week later the woman came in to his office and asked to take him to lunch. Over lunch she explained that her and her husband had been very fearful and axious about purchasing real estate and because of this fear it caused her to react in the way that she did. She apologized for all the inconveniences she had caused him, thanked him for his understanding and patience, and gave him $300 in cash for his time. This surprised the man, it was a response he had never received in the past from such a frustrating situation. It was at that moment he realized that he was able to alter the outcome by changing the way he expressed his anger and this made all the difference in the world.