A Glimpse into My Anger Management Class
Last Tuesday night I walked away from teaching my anger management class feeling incredibly proud of my students and proud that I continue to believe in this work. My class ranges from students who are court mandated to those who are self-referred to those who are sent by someone else as an ultimatum. Some have just started while others continue to join us after many months. I love this combination. One student, who has been in the class for over 6 months and is self-referred, now comes in with his wife after she saw all his changes and wanted to see what it was all about. This student said something that struck me the other night. He said “my wife and I have an unspoken bond now and this place feels like it’s our place.” They come every Tuesday night without fail.
Not all my students are this enthusiastic and have made such great progress. But that’s the best part. The fact that everyone is in a different place in their journey makes students so interested and engaged with one another. Some are curious and anxious about how they can reach that level of change and others are so convinced and proud that they are eager to share and encourage others to do the same. What is so beautiful to me is that this student isn’t at his best quite yet and he still comes in wanting to share his struggles with anger. But as he shares his continued struggles, he also instills hope and depicts a realistic picture of how true change happens. Not overnight and not after one class.
One way I try to instill hope in my students and help ease their anxiety about change is by providing a place where each small triumph is celebrated. By encouraging them to allow each tiny success to be the momentum for the next, they begin to believe in themselves. Maybe this just means having better eye contact in your next tiff with your partner or taking a deep breath and a walk before sending off that angry text message. In my class, I let students be the example of this. Almost every class one or a few students will bring up how they did this one little thing different that week and how good they felt about it or how different that situation turned out. Most of the time, it’s not this huge event, but it was a significant moment that made them realize they can change, and most importantly, that they’ve already started. I tend to believe that as humans we aren’t always scared of change, we’re scared of failing at that change. These small moments show us we can. It’s a great day at work when I get to hear and see these moments in my class. Join us, won’t you?
Diana Gutierrez, MFT Intern
Daybreak Counseling Service
183 N. Hill St. #202
Pasadena, CA 91106
www.daybreakservices.com
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